everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
