Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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