it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
