The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
