What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
