yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
