There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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