a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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