i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
