normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
