I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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