fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
