Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
