Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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