end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
