some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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