I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize