Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
