He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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