why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
