so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
