So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
