I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
