She announced her abortion via fbk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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