Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
