I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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