Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
