She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
