Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
