you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
