Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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