Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
These tits shall not be calmed
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
