I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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