I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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