I have demons in me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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