I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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