glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
