oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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I will find, mount, and marry that person.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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