I CAN MOONWALK!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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