He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
