i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
