...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
