sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.