I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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