Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
