did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i've created a new STD.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i now understand why vodka
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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