Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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