On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
