I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
