all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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