I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
