I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
