in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The air was thick with penises
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
