It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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