Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm passing your future prison.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
