judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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