so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
