You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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