We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
