How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize