Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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